Kris Finds Herself In Recovery

My name is Kris and I am a person in long term recovery from a substance use disorder. What that means for me is that I have been drug and alcohol free since November 2011. Years of hiding in the bottle had taken a toll on my spiritual life, mental well-being, and physical health. But more importantly had taken away my ability to be the loving, nurturing mother I wanted to be and the mother my four children deserved. I had become a person I didn’t want to see in the mirror, a person I didn’t love and a person that pushed anyone away that tried to love me. I would wake up day after day, angry and bitter that my body had not given up on me like I had given up on life and any happiness that I could have.

I knew the life that I wanted, but I was too afraid of trying, afraid of failing, afraid of anything other than how I had been living for years. The turning point was the day I went to an event for my daughter and we were so excited for the day. However, the day was ruined because of my struggle with alcoholism. I knew I needed to get help! I decided absolutely nothing could be worse than how I was living. I wanted to actually experience this life I was given. I made the decision to go to Fairbanks. Today, I am truly living and experiencing life on all levels and I am the best mother I can be to my children. Fairbanks made me realize recovery is possible.

Today I choose to learn and grow from all experiences, good or bad. I am not ashamed of my past and I am not embarrassed of poor choices and decisions made. I am grateful that I have been given the opportunity to struggle so that I can help others with the same struggles. I am living proof happiness returns. I am creating a new family in recovery through volunteering and mentoring. Fairbanks taught me to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and realizing that is the only way I can grow as a person.

In my daily life there are things I do not take for granted but yet celebrate and consider successes. Those successes because of recovery are:

• Taking kids from place to place for all their practices and events
• Getting something at the last minute before bedtime because one of the kids forgot to mention until that moment
• Making a commitment and actually sticking to it

Those are just a few things were not possible while in active addiction but they are today because I found hope. I found recovery.